This was turning into the worst spring break ever.My mom came to wish me goodnight when I was already in bed, reading by my bedside lamp.“Now why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you, sweetheart? I can see heartbreak in your eyes.”“There’s somebody I love, ‘I whispered. “But we can’t be together. Circumstances are heavily against us.”“It can’t be impossible, if you really love him.”“This can’t be fixed, mom,” I said. “There’s no way to undo the string that’s knotting up this whole stupid situation.”“Oh, honey,” my mom said sadly. “I wish I could carry this burden for you.”No, you don’t, I thought as I crawled into her hug. You really don’t.I wallowed in bed the most of the next day, drinking coke and eating the vanilla and chocolate chip muffins my mom had left in the fridge. Finally the lethargy became too much, even for me, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to do something. Something that would keep me busy enough that my thoughts couldn’t chase me like one of the helpless. ..it's not that. I love you, Justin. It's just...you're wonderful, and making love is fine, but sometimes I don't want to be treated like I'm made of glass. I want—" "To be fucked like a slut? Used and degraded?" Kelly's eyes widened; she waited for the inevitable blowup, but it never came. Justin merely regarded her coolly, finally giving her a small smile when he saw her hesitation. "Answer truthfully." "Yes, but—" "Don't do that. I asked for the truth. I meant what I said, Kelly. I love you, and I want this marriage to work. And...I haven't been completely honest with you, either." Kelly's heart sank. She waited, girding herself for whatever her loving husband was about to tell her. Scrubbing a hand over his face, Justin gave a short laugh. "Here I've been trying to be a gentleman and treat you with the tenderness and and deference you deserve, that I thought you wanted, and all you want is to be tossed around and called names. To be fucked by other men, have them treat you like a.
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